im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
