he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He kissed a someone with a penis
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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