Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
