Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
