Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
