First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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