Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
