i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
