Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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