ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
do herpes really smell.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't turn off my feet"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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