Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
