Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
