I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize