he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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