Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
