What a fucking waste of an outfit
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize