Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
