I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
