Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
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