His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is wine microwaveable?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Panties = found
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
