I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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