sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
