hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize