BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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