please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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