he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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