Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
