I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
