maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's blow job season.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
