what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
