belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
