I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
