Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
