Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
