Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
what day is it and did you see me today?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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