Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
