Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
