i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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