Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
