Michael Bay diarrhea
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
