we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this just has baby written all over it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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