I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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