the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize