what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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