I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
