I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
