woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
