bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
