hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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