Screwed.edu
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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