Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
