i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
