just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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