Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
