It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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