I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
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my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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