I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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