If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
