Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
