The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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