Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
