Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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